happiness is to die (before death)

I dropped by to site of a famous author tonight.

In one of his post, he questioned about meaning of happiness. Its a cliche question, I thought. This question might appear if one feel empty about whats going on around him. I sometimes question my life in the same, philosophical tone.

I was reading hundred of answers from the reader fans, when i realized, its hard to me to find my own definition. I dont feel that any of this words represent what I feel about happiness, or I experienced about happiness, or whether my happiness, is the real happiness, what is the real happiness, anyway? what is happiness?

finally, i stuck to the famous author question: what is happiness, siska? now, im questioning myself. its not cliche after all.

I feel happy if I understand, thats first.
And what my understanding about this worldly life?
its nothing. Why its nothing? because it is.
Your carrier, Your house, People you love, even you is nothing.
Its aging. Its decaying. Its fragile.
All is and will become nothing.
humans, their proud building, creations, movies, poets,
islands, sea, sky, galaxy, all is dust.
Its hardly deniable fact.

I feel happy if I share, that's second.
In the opposite, this nothingness of this worldly life, offers you a meaning
if you share your likeness, your things, your love, your understanding, to others.
you feel that there is a meaning of your existence.

So life is something, and real. Because it brings you many experiences to learn. This reality brings you means. Despite, we the material things in life nothingness existence, life is something.

Hum? human, and life... and what is lacking of this picture?

off course, the Creator.
He who creates humans, ant, bacteria, stars, planet, galaxy, who whispers you ideas, source of creativity that we witness in this universe. Source of beauty, Source of unreachable understanding, of everything that we can not think of, but we know is there. Source of energy. Source of us, and everything around us. The opposite of nothingness, He is everything. He makes the scenario, He engineers the interaction of things. The source of perfection.

SO, the only way to be happy is, to understand the nothingness, share something in this reality, following the scenario of the Creator. out of the nothingness, and join with the Creator's plan...

But the ultimate question are: what to share? How can we know the creator plan? How can we know the Creator?

i think, first, to know, and to really find out, to be constantly in the state, to be in the know, that we are nothing.. like in the state of death.

to die? yes, unfortunately, or fortunately.. to die while we life. to die before death.
how about that?

(to be continued)

ps: to die before death, title of a book contained Bawa Muhaiyadden teaching, i once, read.